The lil surprise for Andrew

Has been awhile since I blogged .. Yeah. Had been really busy + lazy .. Haven't had time to sought out my thoughts well and I so feel that everything's like a mess in my brain, in my heart. Its always difficult to strike a balance between 2 things. Its never easy to make a decision and its always hard for me to let go when I should because, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO (always) Read one of my friend's blog and was shock. To me, 2year relationship is a freaking long relationship. So long that it is already very safe and secure. But no, I was fcuking wrong. It changes my hope that there is something that really last till eternity, till age and till death .. And now to think of it .. I've lost hopes. I start to think if I should be giving my 100% .. I start to think how hurt, how painful it will be if i were to go through that part again .. I start to see all assurance are just empty words .. I start to feel SCARED. You have no idea, how scared I am now.