take the chances ..

car·pe di·em
ˌkärpā ˈdēˌem/
used to urge someone to make the most of the present time and give little thought to the future.

// Wednesday, June 14, 2017
11:07 PM

hi there. penning some thoughts down since i finally have some me time in front of the computer (apart from working). Some times i feel like i really cannot fit in. is the problem with me ? have i been too serious with myself and the people around me ? what happen to me ? is this really who i am ?

lately, many many things are happening one after another. good and bad. from my brother's issue with his wife, to my dad's health and my mum's unhappiness towards life and (the one and only good thing), my wedding & little birdnest.

i shall not go into details. the next time when i am reading this, i dont know if i could still remember what exactly happened. but if it doesnt matter 5 years later, it isnt worth harping over it right ?

Benn feeling really detached from social life i feel. everything and everyone is do different. people who use to matter, doesnt matter anymore now. and people who doesnt matter in the past, seems like they have just vanished into thin air from this universe. i guess THIS is what adulthood is like.

life hasnt been really well , people isnt any less complicated at the new place & i, perhaps aint any happier i guess. i really am not street smart enough to tell who really is true and who isnt .. its a dog eat dog world out there i really have to agree. there are no longer true friends you can find at work. it feels to me like everyone is wearing a mask ... or perhaps, it is just me being too paranoid or it could be way more complicated then what it seems on the surface.

well, above anything work, at least i have some personal milestones to achieve this year. getting married & getting our very own space (our little birdnest). really excited.

for now, i guess i will just need a good rest today.  

// Wednesday, October 12, 2016
3:02 AM


Finally after 3 years and 2 months in M, I am ready to take the jump.. 
But before that, let me take a short break before going back on track. 
Loving your own body is the only way to love yourself .. 

Hopefully, will have safe and relaxing trip  coming weekend <3 

Are you ready ? // Friday, April 29, 2016
1:22 AM


entered my quarter-life-crisis stage and here I am, trying to type down my thoughts. Yes, at this stage of life, i am VERY doubtful of choices I have made and choices I have to make. Because YOLO (YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE) and you can never turn back time, and we DO NOT WANT TO REGRET things we didnt do when we had the chance to and also things we did ~ 

Though I can always find someone for a Heart to Heart time but I can never come to a conclusion on my own ... Looking forward, I don't even know if I am ready for adulthood. But ready or not, you cannot stop it from coming and THAT scares me quite a bit .. 

Are they the right choices ? 
What if ? 
What if i dont think about the what ifs ?