"But after this incident, I learnt that he really meant something to me now. I wasn't quite convinced that he was someone in my life. Not until I got the greatest shock of my life.

The difficult thing for me now is I see no hope but yet I'm still gripping tightly onto what I pretty much expect to hurt me really badly. They were together for 2 years. I know very well my chance is almost zero, but still the stubborn part of me just wouldn't let go. I still hope to hear something different from what I expect. Hence, I told him I would give him chance to explain. I know there isn't a need to, since what is done is done. No matter what kind of explanation he give, the fact is still, I'm the third party. And that he just strayed away for a little moment and now he should be back to what he is suppose to be. Another person's bf.

I don't know what I am doing now, but I know I shouldn't be doing what I am doing now. But I don't know what I should do. But it seems like, there's nothing much I can do and that is the reason why, I am so upset. "