Almost forgot I have this blog where i can totally rant about how my life sucks in 2012.

Its almost coming to an end and 2012 has been flying like a jet .. Im still having jet lag, like seriously ~ This month hasnt been all good becos yeah, that bitch is acting up from her depression again, screwing everyone's life..

Life hasn't been good to me lately. Think its easy to put the blames on me .. easier victim cos I really dont dare to speak up though I really portray like I know how to fight for myself. Becos why ? Everytime I react, I would then think about the good things about that someone .. I would regret or not react. I would be in a dilemma on what i should and should not do. I would then break down and cry ...

Family, its the pillar of strength that is always there to support you no matter what comes.

Home, is the place you run to for warmth, for comfort when you feel weak, when you feel sad when you feel everything is falling apart. When you feel like there is no place for you anywhere.. Home is where you can always find a place and its there no matter how much you neglect it when you don't need it

But when you face so much at work, or in the society, yet you do not have the pillar of strength and the place you called home. The only place you can go, is the a very deep hole you'll fall into .. You'd break down the moment you reach the rock bottom of the very deep hole .. That's when you shatter.

The saddest part is when you THOUGHT your pillar of strength is there but when you try to fall back on it, it isn't there. As you fall, into the hole, no matter how hard you try to shout for help, no one can hear you but yet, YOU CAN SEE THEM ... The worst people in the world are not the ones who cannot help you, the worst people in life are the ones who cannot help you YET make you feel stupid/useless ~

To be honest, I have none at the moment .. I really don't.
THIS is the weakest point in life.

To my dearest brother: Everything has changed, ever since the day you came home and told me you two are suddenly back together. I know something's not right, but all I know is that you made your choice and I want you to be happy. Perhaps I know how much you want to have a house of your own cos everyone who grows up would think that way too ... But were you planning for all this ? I have a question, burning in my heart. I really want to know the answer. Do you hate us? Do you really think we are the cause of everything?

I'm really really disappointed, really. I grew up with you and sis. I miss those days. I know I have a very bad temper .. But do you think I am really a bad person ? Why did you not spoke up for us ? Im stucked between love and hate ...

family dramas ~ they drain people out from within.