STAY TRUE, STAY YOU

hi there. penning some thoughts down since i finally have some me time in front of the computer (apart from working). Some times i feel like i really cannot fit in. is the problem with me ? have i been too serious with myself and the people around me ? what happen to me ? is this really who i am ?

lately, many many things are happening one after another. good and bad. from my brother's issue with his wife, to my dad's health and my mum's unhappiness towards life and (the one and only good thing), my wedding & little birdnest.

i shall not go into details. the next time when i am reading this, i dont know if i could still remember what exactly happened. but if it doesnt matter 5 years later, it isnt worth harping over it right ?

Benn feeling really detached from social life i feel. everything and everyone is do different. people who use to matter, doesnt matter anymore now. and people who doesnt matter in the past, seems like they have just vanished into thin air from this universe. i guess THIS is what adulthood is like.

life hasnt been really well , people isnt any less complicated at the new place & i, perhaps aint any happier i guess. i really am not street smart enough to tell who really is true and who isnt .. its a dog eat dog world out there i really have to agree. there are no longer true friends you can find at work. it feels to me like everyone is wearing a mask ... or perhaps, it is just me being too paranoid or it could be way more complicated then what it seems on the surface.

well, above anything work, at least i have some personal milestones to achieve this year. getting married & getting our very own space (our little birdnest). really excited.

for now, i guess i will just need a good rest today.  

ARE YOU READY ? 

Times has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters  

Have you ever thought of the past decisions you have made ? If they were right or wrong decisions. As a person who thinks a lot, id always stop and think of. Sometimes, its difficult not to regret certain choices you made in life. If you had more knowledge of the situation, if you had been more calm, if you had been more meticulous ... maybe the problems you have now, may not be the problem you have to face .. but again, even if so, you might be facing other problems and ask yourself the same old questions..

Sometimes perhaps in life, you have to make mistakes in order to learn, by learning the hard way only do we remember better what are the consequences in life .. But today at the age of 23, I feel that decisions I made are worst than the decisions I made while I was still young. Rightfully, the older you get, decision making should be sound and rational. But now, as I grow older, the decisions I made are more often the decisions I regret making.

You know, its easier said than done that we shouldn't regret in life. The things we do, the things that happen, happen for a reason. Live life with no regrets. But im pretty sure, even the most successful person you ever met would have at least ONE regret in his life.

In life, every obstacles we face, every challenge we come across is a lesson about life .. We learn to grow and deal with situations. We just have to put down the past and embrace the lessons the future will bring us. Every lost is something gained. Once you lost something, you'd learn a way to deal with it and move on in life.

My only problem is, I get really difficult to move on. I'll get stuck, and it takes a whole lot of effort for me to move on ~ I guess really, its really time for me to practice self control on my anger and temper.. The worst of all is that I am too emotional .. you feel sad ? I feel 1000x more upset than you . I feel angry ? I felt the 1000x gush of boiling blood erupting out of my head ~ I am pulling my hair, screaming out my lungs. You feel in love ? I get attached 1000x more than you ..

lessons in life are priceless, no money can buy .

dear blog,

the long weekend didnt seem long at all. I spent the whole of my friday just lazying at home watching The Amazing Spiderman D: & there goes my Good Friday .. I literally got out of bed at nearly 430pm ? Had a light light dinner with my mum & headed home to stuck my bed on the computer chair.

Saturday was a rather more meaningful day .. Made myself woke up at 12noon to prepare for lunch with my dad x mum .. Since dad had the whole saturday off, i suggested to head down TPY for our lunch together with love. Wanted to have the Teochew Muay but was too late for it ): Had our lunch and headed to Lower Pierce Reservoir for a walk & also to catch a glimpse or two of monkeys residing monkeys (main purpose is to show monkey to our dearest xuanxuan) after the very tiring walk, headed to Thompson Plaza for a drink & some snacks. After which, we den headed back to TPY to drop love at his house. AND THEN, we had a sudden change of plan again, that is to have ICE KACHANG + SATAY. I totally felt like I spent my whole Saturday EATING & EATING & EATING. Finally, headed home at around 5plus 6 .. I totally snoozed in my dad's bus like no one's business (thats the perk of having a bus on your own) totally laid my body straight for the short and power nap. Since it was still early to meet Jasmine & Meiyan, had another power nap at home till about 8 or so .. Cycled to 201 for the meet up (the first time i cycled alone at night) & had my favorite Mango Milk Ice <3 (eat again) chit chatted till with jasmine till it was midnight while Meiyan left early cos she was dead beat from the morning work and the afternoon shopping .. Jasmine & I as usual had our endless chat (: thats probably how i ended my Saturday ~

Sunday was a great Easter Day to begin with <3 Sis & fam came over as usual & i pulled myself out of bed so i could join them in the sunday activity @ the grandstand ! am pretty sure Thea had lots of fun for the easter day activity, getting a change to have trial activities as her hobby (like guitar, piano, painting and etc) guess her fav was painting an Easter Egg ! The food @ the grandstand I must say is indeed pricey, BUT however, is worth the cos its TWO THUMBS UP ! while, at least for the restaurant we tried today (Treehouse Cafe) Chose the restaurant mainly because they had a play area for kids while the parents can finally rest. Had my late late late lunch (early early early dinner) before departing from Grandstand to Ikea to meet up with love cos he had a list of things to get (AGAIN) After which, went over to his place to fixed up his BUYS & tada, there goes my LONG WEEKEND ):

WAS IT LONG? NOT AT ALL !

I didnt even manage to go to the places I wanna go ! Thats how disappointed I am at the "long" weekend ): Now I had to look forward to the next weekend to check the list of places . Of which, the wedding show at Suntec is already over ): But its okay, at least some other places are never too late to go still & most importantly, my weekends are well spent with my fam bamz ! <3

Family, they are the ones worth anything & everything !

toodles & time to turn in ! Hope this coming week will be awesomely good & weekend would come fast !

Honestly, I think it is good to have some self time .. Be it to sit down and think, to day dream, to listen to a song, to be in a game, to be in a movies, to be sitting by the beach or even just having meal  ~ To have time for yourself is a privilege not everyone can appreciate ...

Goals for myself :
1) to give without expecting return
2) to be better than who I was yesterday
3) to be good from the bottom of my heart
4) to always be trying
5) BKK - HONG KONG - AUST - TAIWAN - JAPAN
goodnight -

XOXO